The Chúush Fund

Hey y’all! Crafty Wonderland post coming up but first I would like to address that a lot has been happening in PDX right now and if you aren’t in the area and would like to know how to help, follow/check in with @dontshootpdx for resources and updates. 

It’s the week of Crafty Wonderland’s first ever virtual market and my shop is finally live again. I’ve restocked some favorites (postcards are back!) and added some new work. 

Throughout this week, I’ll be sharing a few pieces leading up to an online art auction (on Instagram) to raise funds for @blackfuturesfarm and @mudbonegrown . 100% of the auction proceeds will be split 50/50 between the two orgs. Food access and food sovereignty are very important to me. Both of these orgs are local community farms that are helping to create Black food security as well as support Black farmers. 

In addition, proceeds from a select few pieces in my shop will also be donated to The Chúush Fund to provide clean water to the Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs. There is actually a campaign set up to raise $1500 by THIS Wednesday so consider donating. As for the items in my shop, please take time to read the item descriptions for more details.

All this being said, @austin.smoldt.saenz and I have collaborated on this print where 100% of the proceeds from this piece will be donated to the Chúush Fund. You can order it online on my shop or DM me a screenshot of your Venmo donation + address to receive a print. 💧

I’m truly grateful that @craftywonderland has made it possible for folx to support small producers and artists from the safety of their own spaces. However, we’re still in the middle of a pandemic and a lot is going on. If you are struggling/are without resources, please don’t feel like you need to purchase anything from anyone. Support in other forms means a lot.

Keep sharing, keep informed, stay safe, wear a mask!

Love and solidarity,
j

 

In Solidarity

This past February (which seems like eons ago) Austin and I applied to one of Portland’s larger craft fairs, the Crafty Wonderland, and in March (very much to our surprise) we got the notification that we were both accepted. Shortly after that time, the U.S. quickly began to experience the pandemic and everything slowed. Crafty Wonderland had rescheduled four times before they finally settled on a virtual market date of July 24th and 25th.

It’s clear to me that this craft fair is really not that important amid this huge cultural shift and necessary social movement. In light of everything that has been happening (which certainly is not new), I feel a bit torn with my involvement in this year’s craft fair, but I also feel tasked with the balance of participating to keep myself afloat. This evaluation, discomfort, and reflection is the whole dang point and I am embracing it and leaning into it as much as I can. This work is ongoing and even as I am constantly navigating my own experiences as an Asian American woman, I have *much* to learn. This unpacking is not mutually exclusive to Black liberation and it is my responsibility to continually challenge anti-Blackness and uplift and create space for my BIPOC community – things I’ve always strived to weave into my work.

As a way to stay engaged, I will be holding an online art auction via Instagram to raise funds for Black Futures Farm and Mudbone Grown. 100% of the auction proceeds will be split 50/50 between the two orgs. Food access and food sovereignty are very important to me. Both of these orgs are local community farms that are helping to create Black food security as well as support Black farmers. In addition to that, proceeds from a select few pieces in my shop will also be donated to The Chúush Fund to provide clean water to the Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs. Please read the item descriptions in my shop for more details.

Be on the lookout for future posts about this and Crafty Wonderland soon!

Reparations will be made.
F*ck racism.
F*ck the model minority myth.
Food for all.
xo

 

Re-centering During COVID-19

Almost a year ago, I started working on a few zines for a zine fair I was going to be a part of. It was about growth, gardening, and grief. Unfortunately, I had to drop out of the event because my grandpa was ill. There will be times in our lives where we have to miss out on things we’ve been looking forward to (things like attending that second-interview for a dream job or getting accepted to participate in a large creative event, alas) because we have to take care of ourselves and our people.

Yes, there are things that are out of our control, but there are also many things that we have the power to influence.

Because we are all collectively experiencing this wild and uncertain time, I thought it would be appropriate to re-work the grief zine and share it with all of you. I know everyone is going through very similar feelings of anxiety, fear, and everything in-between so I hope it brings about some peace and comfort, even if it’s just a little.

Feel free to download and print the zine, here.

Once you have it printed, follow the folding instructions below:

Image courtesy of: Umami Design

Image courtesy of: Umami Design

This article was a great reference for this particular zine. It helped me recenter my thoughts and feel a bit more at ease. Here are some other reminders that have been helping (also in the zine):

  • The world has changed and things will be different. Remember: this is temporary, even though it doesn’t feel that way.

  • It is okay to feel afraid, angry, confused, unmotivated, sad. Acknowledge what you feel. Make space for that feeling. Feel it whether or not someone else is feeling something. (Feel it to heal it!)

  • Focus on what you can control (health, social distancing, preparing meals, board games, reading an abandoned book, calling friends and family, staying home, going on walks, deep breaths, cleaning and organizing, accepting, screen-breaks *important!*).

  • Find balance in the things you’re thinking.

  • Nature is not cancelled. Look up at the sky. Lie in the grass. Move your body.

  • Be present. Try to name five things in the room to help you focus. In the present, nothing you’ve anticipated has happened. In this moment, you are okay. Use your senses and what they feel.

  • BREATHE. Really feel the breath coming into your nose, deep in your belly, and slowly out through your mouth. Controlled.

  • Be compassionate. Be patient. Be kind.

  • This is survivable.

  • You are resilient.

  • Keep trying.

I’m hoping to get some printable coloring pages uploaded soon. Until then, be well!

*UPDATE* Download the coloring pages
Happy meditation!

Support my work! Donations are accepted but not required. (Venmo: @jjbccm)

 

Plant Paradise

From lobster claw plants, crotons, orchids, elephant ears, purple top flowers, cockscombs, sunflowers, cosmos, nasturtiums, palmettos and palms, poinsettias, vegetables, to many other plants I don’t know the names of (!!!), Southeast Asia is truly every plant person’s (and caterpillar’s) paradise.


Here are a few snapshots from Laos and Thailand!

 

You are Worth It

You are Worth It

Invest in yourself. The value and potential that you possess is important enough. Pay attention to the things you love. Give it your time and energy and provide space for it. Remember to feed and nourish it into growth.

This isn’t a new year’s resolution. This is a consistent practice and work in progress and it happens to be my current mantra. One of the many different ways I am exercising this practice is by making space for, and opening myself up to collaboration. On Instagram, I called out for volunteers to help me with some photo projects I had on the back-burner. I received a number of interested responses and I am so grateful to everyone’s openness and willingness to participate in this with me — even if for some people, this was beyond their comfort zone. I am happy to be able to produce this type of work — especially if I am able to empower others to see beauty in themselves. Here are some of the outcomes of my Saturday session with Kelso (and please stay tuned for my shoot on Sunday)!

If you’re reading this and you’ve reached out, thank you! I can’t wait to work with you!

UPDATE: I’ve added a few photos from my Sunday session with Marian. We were feeling a little bit rushed that day but we managed to get some great portraits! Thanks for taking a look :)

 

Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods

Our friend Gray invited us out to his family’s cabin in the Upper Peninsula. It was chilly and gloomy and all kinds of cozy — everything I had hoped for from the Northwoods.

The hours passed too quickly at the cabin. All nine of us were very ambitious in bringing multiple activities, handfuls of books, and board games. The only thing the Lake wanted was for us to bathe in each other's company without a looking at the clock.

Of course, we succumbed. The longer we stayed, the easier it became to recondition ourselves to be careless of time. In the few days we were there, we cooked hearty soup and baked pies; made flapjacks with coffee in the mornings; drank hot tea in the evenings after a steam in the sauna; watched animals swim in the lake (an otter!); walked under canopies of fiery orange and yellow leaves; gathered around the radio; and wore smoke-stained clothes. When we did glance at the clock, it would already be 3 in the morning! Our last night was melancholic. We felt the creeping of time, closed our eyes to hang on to those soft moments, hoping we had enough, and wishing it was infinite.



Lisle’s River
by Jim Harrison

Dust followed our car like a dry brown cloud.
At the river we swam, then in the canoe passed
downstream toward Manton; the current carried us
through cedar swamps, hot fields of marsh grass
where deer watched us and the killdeer shrieked.

We were at home in a thing that passes.
And that night, camped on a bluff, we ate eggs
and ham and three small trout; we drank too much
whiskey and pushed a burning stump down the bank -
it cast hurling shadows, leaves silvered and darkened,
the crash and hiss woke up a thousand birds.

Now, tell me, other than lying between some woman's legs,
what joy have you had since, that equaled this?

 

Japanese Breakfast at the Mill

JBrekkie

@ The Mill, Iowa City

When I found out Michelle Zauner was playing at the Mill, I was pretty surprised. I snagged those tickets real fast but I was even more surprised that she didn't sell out until the week of. I've been a fan for a little while (probably only since early spring of last year, shortly after Jay Som became my most overplayed artist on Spotify, but I didn't know Zauner when she was Little Big League). She blew up rather quickly. It was kind of amazing to see her perform at such a small venue compared to where she has been performing lately. I had also seen Jay Som play at the Mill when she open for a larger band and at one point in time they both toured together.

Zauner captured me in a different way, though. I can't explain how excited I was to have stood only 2 feet in front of her during that entire show. It felt kind of strange — not in a surreal way, but like I knew her more than she intended for me to. It felt like I was watching a close friend. You see, when you find out someone has lost a parent like you have, there's an immediate connection with that person and you just "get it".

There's this great article written about her that basically confirmed my suspicions that we are very much alike; in grief, feelings about death, thanatophobia, in the way we view our work and life, and how we both feel like we are grasping for the tattered threads of our cultural weaves that we see unraveling before us — as if the woven cords were only kept together by our mothers. We are alike in how we developed an over-appreciation for food in loss and, though our food vocabulary in our native tongue is strong, we are missing something larger that would make our cultural experience feel whole and complete.

When she wrote Crying in H Mart for the New Yorker (exactly one month ago today, actually), I fucking lost it. What a beautiful piece. I read it at work and I had to escape to the bathroom about halfway through it to shed a few tears before re-emerging as a slumped, puffy, shell of a person. I felt exhausted, but not in a terrible way. You know that feeling after having a good cry? I shared many of her same sentiments and I can say I know exactly how she feels when she talks about her irrational anger and arbitrary triggers. Grief truly comes and goes in waves. I'll be walking past a salon some day and smell someone getting a perm and completely lose it (my mom used to perm her hair). The breakdowns are hard. They never come with a warning and they often arrive when I'm not even searching for her.

So did I cry? If I did, it was with my jaws clenched during, "Till Death," or reflecting over how her music is actually grief transformed. UGH. Japanese Breakfast was a great show. Michelle looks so happy when she performs with her enthusiastic jumping and climbing, all smiles — a reassuring reminder that life moves on. Bonus: she also has a contagious laugh! I appreciate her as a musician, an Asian-American artist, and as a person who has gone though a lot of tough shit. She is warm and full of energy and she makes you want to dance through your tears.

 

Patience Takes Practice

I took my first-ever group sew class at Home Ec and made my very first Wiksten Haori (my second pattern), and….it was the first time I almost cried over a garment.

The pattern itself is simple and uses material very effectively. The seam finishes are desirable to me as most of them are hidden between the lining and the main fabric. Everything up to the collar was a breeze and I was excited about the fabric I chose — a light, earth-toned linen with mustard lining that had little glimmering moons and suns on it. So magical! ✨ I was determined to finish this myself after class. Unfortunately, I lacked the space to sprawl out and work but I really wanted to complete it. To my utter dismay, I found that I cut the collar a little too long in the front on both sides and I missed some stitches on the lining (you can kind of see it in the 5th photo). It felt really discouraging and bummed me out a ton because I felt like I rushed myself to it.

Patience takes practice. This morning, I woke up with fresh eyes and had to remind myself it’s mine and I made it. I guess this means I will have to work on my second one soon. ;)


 

Elizabeth Moen's Album Release Show

Liz put on (yet another) amazing show. I am always astounded by her talent and happy to see her growth — she’s a rockstar! Cheers to all of the talented musicians that helped make her album release show so great! Of course, fantastic job to Austin & Josh for cranking out dope psychedelic visuals for each of her songs! From album art and t-shirts to music videos, they’ve been collaborating with Liz every step of the way, but this was something new for all of them. What a proud moment for this trio of friends! 

 

How To Make Boxy Tops Using an Existing Shirt as a Pattern

So you want to sew your own garment, eh? Or maybe you want to dive into slow fashion. It's not as tough as it seems! Slow fashion can be easy as long as you are willing to take the time to be mindful. Thrifting is a great place to start. Buying second-hand is often like a treasure hunt. If you want to take it to the next level, repurpose your finds! For me, thrifting pieces that still have life is fun, but there's something exciting about sifting through the piles of well-loved clothing — trying to find a unique piece, pattern, or material that I think has potential to become something better.

When I started sewing, I knew I wanted to learn how to make pieces that I could actually wear. Unfortunately, I was entirely intimidated by patterns. I was afraid I wouldn't know how to read them, or worse, I'd do something totally wrong and waste material. I decided the way I was going to begin was by using something I was already familiar with: a pre-existing shirt that I knew I already loved. I like loose-fit clothing that is breathable and natural-looking. Lucky for me, those types of pieces are easier to sew.

I'll walk you through this step-by-step, "How-To". Please feel free to ask as me questions below or via email!